How to Talk About Personality Types

1. me first

Your attitude to life is simple, direct, and aboveboard -- every decision you make is based on the answer to one question: "What's in it for me?" If your selfishness, greed, and ruthless desire for self-advancement hurt other people, that's too bad. "This is a tough world, pal, dog eat dog and all that, and I, for one, am not going to be left behind!"

An egoist

2. the height of conceit

"Now, let's see. Have you heard about all the money I'm making? Did I tell you about my latest amorous conquest? Let me give you my opinion -- I know, because I'm an expert at practically everything!" You are boastful to the point of being obnoxious -- you have only one string to your conversational violin, namely, yourself; and on it you play a number of monotonous variations: what you think, what you have done, how good you are, how you would solve the problems of the world, etc. ad nauseam.

An egotist

3. let me help you

You have discovered the secret of true happiness -- concerning yourself with the welfare of others. Never mind your own interests, how's the next fellow getting along?

An altruist

4. leave me alone

Like a biochemist studying a colony of bacteria under the microscope, you minutely examine your every thought, feeling, and action. Probing, futile questions like "What do other people think of me?", "How do I look?", and "Maybe I shouldn't have said that?" are your constant nagging companions, for you are unable to realize that other people do not spend as much time and energy analyzing you as you think.

You may seem unsocial, yet your greatest desire is to be liked and accepted. You may be shy and quiet, you are often moody and unhappy, and you prefer solitude or at most the company of one person to a crowd. You have an aptitude for creative work and are uncomfortable engaging in activities that require cooperation with other people. You may even be a genius, or eventually turn into one.

An introvert

5. let's do it together

You would be great as a teacher, counselor, administrator, insurance agent. You can always become interested -- sincerely, vitally interested -- in other people's problems. You're the life of the party, because you never worry about the effect of your actions, never inhibit yourself with doubts about dignity or propriety. You are usually happy, generally full of high spirits; you love to be with people -- lots of people. Your thoughts, your interests, your whole personality are turned outward.

An extrovert

6. neither extreme

You have both introverted and extroverted tendencies -- at different times and on different occasions. Your interests are turned, in about equal proportions, both inward and outward. Indeed, you're quite normal -- in the sense that your personality is like that of most people.

An ambivert

7. people are no damn good

Cynical, embittered, suspicious, you hate everyone. (Especially, but never to be admitted, yourself?) The perfectibility of the human race? "Nonsense! No way!" The stupidity, the meanness, and the crookedness of most mortals ("Most? Probably all!") -- that is your favorite theme.

A misanthrope

8. women are no damn good

Sometime in your dim past, you were crossed, scorned, or deeply wounded by a woman (a mother, or mother figure, perhaps?). So now you have a carefully constructed defense against further hurt -- you hate all women.

A misogynist

9. "marriage is an institution -- and who wants to live in an institution?"

You will not make the ultimate legal commitment. Members of the opposite sex are great as lovers, roommates, apartment- or house-sharers, but not as lawfully wedded spouses. The ties that bind are too binding for you. You may possibly believe, and possibly, for yourself, be right, that a commitment is deeper and more meaningful if freedom is available without judicial proceedings.

A misogamist

10. "... that the flesh is heir to ..."

Self-denial, austerity, lonely contemplation -- these are the characteristics of the good life, so you claim. The simplest food and the least amount of it that will keep body and soul together, combined with abstinence from fleshly, earthly pleasures, will eventually lead to spiritual perfection -- that is your philosophy.

An ascetic

1. the ego

Egoist and egotist are built on the same Latin root -- the pronoun ego, meaning I. I is the greatest concern in the egoist's mind, the most overused word in the egotist's vocabulary. (Keep the words differentiated in your own mind by thinking of the t in talk, and the additional t in egotist.) Ego itself has been taken over from Latin as an important English word and is commonly used to denote one's concept of oneself, as in, "What do you think your constant criticisms do to my ego?" Ego has also a special meaning in psychology -- but for the moment you have enough problems without going into that.

If you are an egocentric (ee′-gō-SEN′-trik), you consider yourself the center of the universe -- you are an extreme form of the egoist.

And if you are an egomaniac (ee′-gō-MAY′-nee-ak), you carry egoism to such an extreme that your needs, desires, and interests have become a morbid obsession, a mania. The egoist or egotist is obnoxious, the egocentric is intolerable, and the egomaniac is dangerous and slightly mad.

Egocentric is both a noun ("What an egocentric her new roommate is!") and an adjective ("He is the most egocentric person I have ever met!").

To derive the adjective form of egomaniac, add -al, a common adjective suffix. Say the adjective aloud: egomaniacal (ee′-gō-mə-NĪ′-ə-kəl)

2. others

In Latin, the word for other is alter, and a number of valuable English words are built on this root.

Altruism (AL′-trŏŏ-iz-əm), the philosophy practiced by altruists, comes from one of the variant spellings of Latin alter, other.

Altruistic (al-trŏŏ-IS′-tik) actions look toward the benefit of others. If you alternate (AWL′-tər-nayt′), you skip one and take the other, so to speak, as when you play golf on alternate (AWL′-tər-nət) Saturdays.

An alternate in a debate, contest, or convention is the other person who will take over if the original choice is unable to attend. And if you have no alternative (awl-TUR′-nə-tiv), you have no other choice.

An alteration (awl′-tə-RAY′-shən) is of course a change -- a making into something other. When you alter (AWL′-tər) your plans, you make other plans.

An altercation (awl′-tər-KAY′-shən) is a verbal dispute -- stronger than quarrel or dispute. You have altercations over pretty important issues, and the word implies that you get quite excited.

Alter ego (AWL′-tər EE′-gō), which combines alter, other, with ego, I, self, generally refers to someone with whom you are so close that you both do the same things, think alike, react similarly, and are, in temperament, almost mirror images of each other. Any such friend is your other I, your other self, your alter ego.

1. depends how you turn

Introvert, extrovert, and ambivert are built on the Latin verb verto, to turn. If your thoughts are constantly turned inward (intro-), you are an introvert; outward (extro-), an extrovert; and in both directions (ambi-), an ambivert. The prefix ambi-, both, is also found in ambidextrous (am′-bə-DEKs′-trəs), able to use both hands with equal skill. The noun is ambidexterity (am′-bə-deks-TAIR′-ə-tee).

Dexterous (DEKS′-trəs) means skillful, the noun dexterity (deks-TAIR′-ə-tee) is skill.

Dexter is actually the Latin word for right hand -- in the ambidextrous person, both hands are right hands, so to speak.

The Latin word for the left hand is sinister. This same word, in English, means threatening, evil, or dangerous, a further commentary on our early suspiciousness of left-handed persons.

The French word for the left hand is gauche, and, as you would suspect, when we took this word over into English we invested it with an uncomplimentary meaning. Call someone gauche (GŌSH) and you imply clumsiness, generally social rather than physical. Gaucherie (GŌ′-shə-ree) is an awkward, clumsy, tactless, embarrassing way of saying things or of handling situations.

And the French word for the right hand is droit, which we have used in building our English word adroit (ə-DROYT′). Adroit, like dexterous, means skillful, but especially in the exercise of the mental facilities. The noun is adroitness -- quite the opposite of gaucherie.

2. love, hate, and marriage

Misanthrope, misogynist, and misogamist are built on the Greek root misein, to hate. The misanthrope hates mankind (Greek anthropos, mankind); the misogynist hates women (Greek gyne, woman); the misogamist hates marriage (Greek gamos, marriage).

Anthropos, mankind, is also found in anthropology (an-thrə-POL′-ə-jee), the study of the development of the human race; and in philanthropist (fə-LAN′-thrə-pist), one who loves mankind and shows such love by making substantial financial contributions to charitable organizations.

The root gyne, woman, is also found in gynecologist (gĪn-ə-KOL′-ə-jist), the medical specialist who treats female disorders. And the root gamos, marriage, occurs also in monogamy (mə-NOG′-ə-mee), bigamy (BIG′-ə-mee), and polygamy (pə-LIG′-ə-mee).

Monogamy is the custom of only one marriage (at a time). Bigamy is the unlawful act of contracting another marriage without divorcing one's current legal spouse. Polygamy, by derivation many marriages, in current usage generally refers to the custom in which the man has as many wives as he can afford. The correct term for this custom is polygyny (pə-LIJ′-ə-nee) -- polys, many, plus gyne, woman.

What if a woman has two or more husbands? That custom is called polyandry (pol-ee-AN′-dree), from polys plus Greek andros, male.

3. making friends with suffixes

English words have various forms, using certain suffixes for nouns referring to persons, other suffixes for practices, attitudes, philosophies, etc., and still others for adjectives. Consider:

You will note, then, that -ist is a common suffix for a person; -y for a practice, attitude, etc.; and -ic or -ous for an adjective.

4. living alone and liking it

Ascetic is from the Greek word asketes, monk or hermit. A monk lives a lonely life -- not for him the pleasures of the fleshpots, the laughter and merriment of convivial gatherings, the dissipation of high living. Rather, days of contemplation, study, and rough toil, nights on a hard bed in a simple cell, and the kind of self-denial that leads to a purification of the soul.

The practice is asceticism (ə-SET′-ə-siz-əm), the adjective ascetic.