How to Talk About Personality Types

Session 1

Teaser Preview

What word best describes your personality if you:

1. are interested solely in your own welfare?
2. constantly talk about yourself?
3. dedicate your life to helping others?
4. turn your mind inward?
5. turn your mind outward?
6. hate humanity?
7. hate women?
8. hate marriage?
9. lead a lonely, austere existence?

Ideas

Every human being is, in one way or another, unique.

Everyone's personality is determined by a combination of genetic and environmental factors.

Let us examine ten personality types (one of which might by chance be your very own) that result from the way culture, growth, family background, and environment interact with heredity.

And, of course, we begin not with the words, but with the ideas.

1. me first

Your attitude to life is simple, direct, and aboveboard—every decision you make is based on the answer to one question: “What’s in it for me?” If your selfishness, greed, and ruthless desire for self-advancement hurt other people, that’s too bad. “This is a tough world, pal, dog eat dog and all that, and I, for one, am not going to be left behind!”

An egoist

2. the height of conceit

“Now, let’s see. Have you heard about all the money I’m making? Did I tell you about my latest amorous conquest? Let me give you my opinion—I know, because I’m an expert at practically everything!” You are boastful to the point of being obnoxious—you have only one string to your conversational violin, namely, yourself; and on it you play a number of monotonous variations: what you think, what you have done, how good you are, how you would solve the problems of the world, etc. ad nauseam.

An egotist

3. let me help you

You have discovered the secret of true happiness—concerning yourself with the welfare of others. Never mind your own interests, how’s the next fellow getting along?

An altruist

4. leave me alone

Like a biochemist studying a colony of bacteria under the microscope, you minutely examine your every thought, feeling, and action. Probing, futile questions like “What do other people think of me?”, “How do I look?”, and “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that?” are your constant nagging companions, for you are unable to realize that other people do not spend as much time and energy analyzing you as you think.

You may seem unsocial, yet your greatest desire is to be liked and accepted. You may be shy and quiet, you are often moody and unhappy, and you prefer solitude or at most the company of one person to a crowd. You have an aptitude for creative work and are uncomfortable engaging in activities that require cooperation with other people. You may even be a genius, or eventually turn into one.

An introvert

5. let’s do it together

You would be great as a teacher, counselor, administrator, insurance agent. You can always become interested—sincerely, vitally interested—in other people’s problems. You’re the life of the party, because you never worry about the effect of your actions, never inhibit yourself with doubts about dignity or propriety. You are usually happy, generally full of high spirits; you love to be with people—lots of people. Your thoughts, your interests, your whole personality are turned outward.

An extrovert

6. neither extreme

You have both introverted and extroverted tendencies—at different times and on different occasions. Your interests are turned, in about equal proportions, both inward and outward. Indeed, you’re quite normal—in the sense that your personality is like that of most people.

An ambivert

7. people are no damn good

Cynical, embittered, suspicious, you hate everyone. (Especially, but never to be admitted, yourself?) The perfectibility of the human race? “Nonsense! No way!” The stupidity, the meanness, and the crookedness of most mortals (“Most? Probably all!”)—that is your favorite theme.

A misanthrope

8. women are no damn good

Sometime in your dim past, you were crossed, scorned, or deeply wounded by a woman (a mother, or mother figure, perhaps?). So now you have a carefully constructed defense against further hurt—you hate all women.

A misogynist

9. “marriage is an institution—and who wants to live in an institution?”

You will not make the ultimate legal commitment. Members of the opposite sex are great as lovers, roommates, apartment- or house-sharers, but not as lawfully wedded spouses. The ties that bind are too binding for you. You may possibly believe, and possibly, for yourself, be right, that a commitment is deeper and more meaningful if freedom is available without judicial proceedings.

A misogamist

10. “… that the flesh is heir to …”

Self-denial, austerity, lonely contemplation—these are the characteristics of the good life, so you claim. The simplest food and the least amount of it that will keep body and soul together, combined with abstinence from fleshly, earthly pleasures, will eventually lead to spiritual perfection—that is your philosophy.

An ascetic

Using the Words

You have been introduced to ten valuable words—but in each case, as you have noticed, you have first considered the ideas that these words represent. Now say the words—each one is respelled phonetically so that you will be sure to pronounce it correctly.

Say each word aloud. This is the first important step to complete mastery. As you hear a word in your own voice, think of its meaning. Are you quite clear about it? If not, reinforce your learning by rereading the explanatory paragraph or paragraphs.

Can you pronounce the words?

1. egoist (EE′-gō-ist)
2. egotist (EE′-gō-tist)
3. altruist (AL′-trōō-ist)
4. introvert (IN′-trƏ-vurt′)
5. extrovert (EKS′-trƏ-vurt′)
6. ambivert (AM′-bƏ-vurt′)
7. misanthrope (MIS′-Ən-thrōp′)
8. misogynist (mƏ-SOJ′-Ə-nist)
9. misogamist (mƏ-SOG′-Ə-mist)
10. ascetic (Ə-SET′-ik)

Can you work with the words?

You have taken two long steps toward mastery of the expressive words in this chapter—you have thought about the ideas behind them, and you have said them aloud.

For your third step, match each personality with the appropriate characteristic, action, or attitude.

Do you understand the words?

Now that you are becoming more and more involved in these ten words, find out if they can make an immediate appeal to your understanding. Here are ten questions—can you indicate, quickly, and without reference to any previous definitions, whether the correct answer to each of these questions is yes or no?

1. Is an egoist selfish? YES / NO
2. Is modesty one of the characteristics of the egotist? YES / NO
3. Is an altruist selfish? YES / NO
4. Does an introvert pay much attention to himself? YES / NO
5. Does an extrovert prefer solitude to companionship? YES / NO
6. Are most normal people ambiverts? YES / NO
7. Does a misanthrope like people? YES / NO
8. Does a misogynist enjoy the company of women? YES / NO
9. Does an ascetic lead a life of luxury? YES / NO
10. Does a misogamist try to avoid marriage? YES / NO

Can you recall the words?

You have thus far reinforced your learning by saying the words aloud, by matching them to their definitions, and by responding to meaning when they were used in context.

Can you recall each word, now, without further reference to previous material? And can you spell it correctly?

1. Who lives a lonely, austere life? A__________
2. Whose interests are turned outward? E__________
3. Who is supremely selfish? E__________
4. Who hates people? M__________
5. Whose interests are turned both inward and outward? A__________
6. Who is incredibly conceited? E__________
7. Who is more interested in the welfare of others than in his own? A__________
8. Who hates women? M__________
9. Whose interests are turned inward? I__________
10. Who hates marriage? M__________

Session 2

Origins and Related Words

Every word in the English language has a history—and these ten are no exception. In this section you will learn a good deal more about the words you have been working with; in addition, you will make excursions into many other words allied either in meaning, form, or history to our basic ten.

1. the ego

Egoist and egotist are built on the same Latin root—the pronoun ego, meaning I. I is the greatest concern in the egoist’s mind, the most overused word in the egotist’s vocabulary. (Keep the words differentiated in your own mind by thinking of the t in talk, and the additional t in egotist.) Ego itself has been taken over from Latin as an important English word and is commonly used to denote one’s concept of oneself, as in, “What do you think your constant criticisms do to my ego?” Ego has also a special meaning in psychology—but for the moment you have enough problems without going into that.

If you are an egocentric (ee′-gō-SEN′-trik), you consider yourself the center of the universe—you are an extreme form of the egoist. And if you are an egomaniac (ee′-gō-MAY′-nee-ak), you carry egoism to such an extreme that your needs, desires, and interests have become a morbid obsession, a mania. The egoist or egotist is obnoxious, the egocentric is intolerable, and the egomaniac is dangerous and slightly mad.

Egocentric is both a noun (“What an egocentric her new roommate is!”) and an adjective (“He is the most egocentric person I have ever met!”).

To derive the adjective form of egomaniac, add -al, a common adjective suffix. Say the adjective aloud:

egomaniacal (ee′-gō-mƏ-NĪ′-Ə-kƏl)

2. others

In Latin, the word for other is alter, and a number of valuable English words are built on this root.

Altruism (AL′-trōō-iz-Əm), the philosophy practiced by altruists, comes from one of the variant spellings of Latin alter, other.

Altruistic (al-trōō-IS′-tik) actions look toward the benefit of others. If you alternate (AWL′-tƏr-nayt′), you skip one and take the other, so to speak, as when you play golf on alternate (AWL′-tƏr-nƏt) Saturdays.

An alternate (AWL′-tƏr-nƏt) in a debate, contest, or convention is the other person who will take over if the original choice is unable to attend. And if you have no alternative (awl-TUR′-nƏ-tiv), you have no other choice.

You see how easy it is to understand the meanings of these words once you realize that they all come from the same source. And keeping in mind that alter means other, you can quickly understand words like alter ego, altercation, and alteration.

An alteration (awl′-tƏ-RAY′-shƏn) is of course a change—a making into something other. When you alter (AWL′-tƏr) your plans, you make other plans.

An altercation (awl′-tƏr-KAY′-shƏn) is a verbal dispute. When you have an altercation with someone, you have a violent disagreement, a “fight” with words. And why? Because you have other ideas, plans, or opinions than those of the person on the other side of the argument. Altercation, by the way, is stronger than quarrel or dispute—the sentiment is more heated, the disagreement is likely to be angry or even hot-tempered, there may be recourse, if the disputants are human, to profanity or obscenity. You have altercations, in short, over pretty important issues, and the word implies that you get quite excited.

Alter ego (AWL′-tƏr EE′-gō), which combines alter, other, with ego, I, self, generally refers to someone with whom you are so close that you both do the same things, think alike, react similarly, and are, in temperament, almost mirror images of each other. Any such friend is your other I, your other self, your alter ego.

Using the Words

Can you pronounce the words?

Digging a little into the derivation of three of our basic words, egoist, egotist, and altruist, has put us in touch with two important Latin roots, ego, I, self, and alter, other, and has made it possible for us to explore, with little difficulty, many other words derived from these roots. Pause now, for a moment, to digest these new acquisitions, and to say them aloud.

1. ego (EE′-gō)
2. egocentric (ee-gō-SEN′-trik)
3. egomaniac (ee-gō-MAY′-nee-ak)
4. egomaniacal (ee′-gō-mƏ-NĪ′-Ə-kƏl)
5. altruism (AL′-trōō-iz-Əm)
6. altruistic (al-trōō-IS′-tik)
7. to alternate (v.) (AWL′-tƏr-nayt′)
8. alternate (adj. or noun) (AWL′-tƏr-nƏt)
9. alternative (awl-TUR′-nƏ-tiv)
10. alteration (awl′-tƏr-AY′-shƏn)
11. to alter (AWL′-tƏr)
12. altercation (awl′-tƏr-KAY′-shƏn)
13. alter ego (AWL′-tƏr EE′-gō)

Can you work with the words? (I)

You have seen how these thirteen words derive from the two Latin roots ego, I, self, and alter, other, and you have pronounced them aloud and thereby begun to make them part of your active vocabulary.

Are you ready to match definitions to words?

Can you work with the words? (II)

Do you understand the words?

If you have begun to understand these thirteen words, you will be able to respond to the following questions.

1. Is rejection usually a blow to one’s ego? YES / NO
2. Are egocentric people easy to get along with? YES / NO
3. Does an egomaniac have a normal personality? YES / NO
4. Are egomaniacal tendencies a sign of maturity? YES / NO
5. Is altruism a characteristic of selfish people? YES / NO
6. Are altruistic tendencies common to egoists? YES / NO
7. Is an alternate plan necessarily inferior? YES / NO
8. Does an alternative allow you some freedom of choice? YES / NO
9. Does alteration imply keeping things the same? YES / NO
10. Do excitable people often engage in altercations? YES / NO
11. Is your alter ego usually quite similar to yourself? YES / NO

Can you recall the words?

Have you learned these words so well that you can summon each one from your mind when a brief definition is offered? Review first if necessary; then, without further reference to previous pages, write the correct word in each blank. Make sure to check your spelling when you refer to the Key.

1. one’s other self — A__________
2. to change — A__________
3. a heated dispute — A__________
4. excessively, morbidly obsessed with one’s own needs, desires, or ambitions — E__________
5. unselfish; more interested in the welfare of others than in one’s own — A__________
6. utterly involved with oneself; self-centered — E__________
7. a choice — A__________
8. one who substitutes for another — A__________

Session 3

Origins and Related Words

1. depends how you turn

Introvert, extrovert, and ambivert are built on the Latin verb verto, to turn. If your thoughts are constantly turned inward (intro-), you are an introvert; outward (extro-), an extrovert; and in both directions (ambi-), an ambivert. The prefix ambi-, both, is also found in ambidextrous (am′-bƏ-DEKS′-trƏs), able to use both hands with equal skill. The noun is ambidexterity (am′-bƏ-deks-TAIR′-Ə-tee).

Dexterous (DEKS′-trƏs) means skillful, the noun dexterity (deks-TAIR′-Ə-tee) is skill. The ending -ous is a common adjective suffix (famous, dangerous, perilous, etc.); -ity is a common noun suffix (vanity, quality, simplicity, etc.).

(Spelling caution: Note that the letter following the t- in ambidextrous is -r, but that in dexterous the next letter is -e.)

Dexter is actually the Latin word for right hand—in the ambidextrous person, both hands are right hands, so to speak.

The right hand is traditionally the more skillful one; it is only within recent decades that we have come to accept that “lefties” or “southpaws” are just as normal as anyone else—and the term left-handed is still used as a synonym of awkward.

The Latin word for the left hand is sinister. This same word, in English, means threatening, evil, or dangerous, a further commentary on our early suspiciousness of left-handed persons. There may still be some parents who insist on forcing left-handed children to change (though left-handedness is inherited, and as much an integral part of its possessor as eye color or nose shape), with various unfortunate results to the child—sometimes stuttering or an inability to read with normal skill.

The French word for the left hand is gauche, and, as you would suspect, when we took this word over into English we invested it with an uncomplimentary meaning. Call someone gauche (GŌSH) and you imply clumsiness, generally social rather than physical. (We’re right back to our age-old misconception that left-handed people are less skillful than right-handed ones.) A gauche remark is tactless; a gauche offer of sympathy is so bumbling as to be embarrassing; gaucherie (GŌ′-shƏ-ree) is an awkward, clumsy, tactless, embarrassing way of saying things or of handling situations. The gauche person is totally without finesse.

And the French word for the right hand is droit, which we have used in building our English word adroit (Ə-DROYT′). Needless to say, adroit, like dexterous, means skillful, but especially in the exercise of the mental facilities. Like gauche, adroit, or its noun adroitness, usually is used figuratively. The adroit person is quickwitted, can get out of difficult spots cleverly, can handle situations ingeniously. Adroitness is, then, quite the opposite of gaucherie.

2. love, hate, and marriage

Misanthrope, misogynist, and misogamist are built on the Greek root misein, to hate. The misanthrope hates mankind (Greek anthropos, mankind); the misogynist hates women (Greek gyne, woman); the misogamist hates marriage (Greek gamos, marriage).

Anthropos, mankind, is also found in anthropology (an-thrƏ-POL′-Ə-jee), the study of the development of the human race; and in philanthropist (fƏ-LAN′-thrƏ-pist), one who loves mankind and shows such love by making substantial financial contributions to charitable organizations or by donating time and energy to helping those in need.

The root gyne, woman, is also found in gynecologist (gīn-Ə-KOL′-Ə-jist or jīn-KOL′-Ə-jist), the medical specialist who treats female disorders. And the root gamos, marriage, occurs also in monogamy (mƏ-NOG′-Ə-mee), bigamy (BIG′-Ə-mee), and polygamy (pƏ-LIG′-Ə-mee).

(As we will discover later, monos means one, bi- means two, polys means many.)

So monogamy is the custom of only one marriage (at a time).

Bigamy, by etymology, is two marriages—in actuality, the unlawful act of contracting another marriage without divorcing one’s current legal spouse.

And polygamy, by derivation many marriages, and therefore etymologically denoting plural marriage for either males or females, in current usage generally refers to the custom practiced in earlier times by the Mormons, and before them by King Solomon, in which the man has as many wives as he can afford financially and/or emotionally. The correct, but rarely used, term for this custom is polygyny (pƏ-LIJ′-Ə-nee)—polys, many, plus gyne, woman.

What if a woman has two or more husbands, a form of marriage practiced in the Himalaya Mountains of Tibet? That custom is called polyandry (pol-ee-AN′-dree), from polys plus Greek andros, male.

3. making friends with suffixes

English words have various forms, using certain suffixes for nouns referring to persons, other suffixes for practices, attitudes, philosophies, etc, and still others for adjectives.

Consider:

You will note, then, that -ist is a common suffix for a person; -y for a practice, attitude, etc.; and -ic or -ous for an adjective.

4. living alone and liking it

Ascetic is from the Greek word asketes, monk or hermit.

A monk lives a lonely life—not for him the pleasures of the fleshpots, the laughter and merriment of convivial gatherings, the dissipation of high living. Rather, days of contemplation, study, and rough toil, nights on a hard bed in a simple cell, and the kind of self-denial that leads to a purification of the soul.

That person is an ascetic who leads an existence, voluntarily of course, that compares in austerity, simplicity, and rigorous hardship with the life of a monk.

The practice is asceticism (Ə-SET′-Ə-siz-Əm), the adjective ascetic.

Review of Etymology

Notice how efficiently you can master words by understanding their etymological structure. Stop for a moment to review the roots, prefixes, and suffixes you have studied. Can you recall a word we have discussed in this chapter that is built on the indicated prefix, root, or suffix?

Using the Words

Can you pronounce the words? (I)

Say each word aloud! Hear it in your own voice! Say it often enough so that you feel comfortable with it, noting carefully from the phonetic respelling exactly how it should sound.

Remember that the first crucial step in mastering a word is to be able to say it with ease and assurance.

1. ambidextrous (am-bƏ-DEKS′-trƏs)
2. ambidexterity (am′-bƏ-deks-TAIR′-Ə-tee)
3. dexterous (DEKS′-trƏs)
4. dexterity (deks-TAIR′-Ə-tee)
5. sinister (SIN′-Ə-stƏr)
6. gauche (GŌSH) (Say the English word go, then quickly add -sh.)
7. gaucherie (GŌ′-shƏ-ree)
8. adroit (Ə-DROYT′)
9. adroitness (Ə-DROYT′-nƏss)
10. anthropology (an-thrƏ-POL′-Ə-jee)
11. anthropologist (an-thrƏ-POL′-Ə-jist)
12. anthropological (an′-thrƏ-pƏ-LOJ′-Ə-kƏl)
13. philanthropist (fƏ-LAN′-thrƏ-pist)
14. philanthropy (fƏ-LAN′-thrƏ-pee)
15. philanthropic (fil-Ən-THROP′-ik)
16. gynecologist (gīn (or jin or jīn)-Ə-KOL′-Ə-jist)
17. gynecology (gīn (or jin or jīn)-Ə-KOL′-Ə-jee)
18. gynecological (gīn (or jin or jīn)-Ə-kƏ-LOJ′-Ə-kƏl)
19. monogamist (mƏ-NOG′-Ə-mist)
20. monogamy (mƏ-NOG′-Ə-mee)
21. monogamous (mƏ-NOG′-Ə-mƏs)

Can you pronounce the words? (II)

1. bigamist (BIG′-Ə-mist)
2. bigamy (BIG′-Ə-mee)
3. bigamous (BIG′-Ə-mƏs)
4. polygamist (pƏ-LIG′-Ə-mist)
5. polygamy (pƏ-LIG′-Ə-mee)
6. polygamous (pƏ-LIG′-Ə-mƏs)
7. polygynist (pƏ-LIJ′-Ə-nist)
8. polygyny (pƏ-LIJ′-Ə-nee)
9. polygynous (pƏ-LIJ′-Ə-nƏs)
10. polyandrist (pol-ee-AN′-drist)
11. polyandry (pol-ee-AN′-dree)
12. polyandrous (pol-ee-AN′-drƏs)
13. misanthropist (mis-AN′-thrƏ-pist)
14. misanthropy (mis-AN′-thrƏ-pee)
15. misanthropic (mis-Ən-THROP′-ik)
16. misogyny (mƏ-SOJ′-Ə-nee)
17. misogynous (mƏ-SOJ′-Ə-nƏs)
18. misogynistic (mƏ-soj′-Ə-NIS′-tik)
19. misogamy (mƏ-SOG′-Ə-mee)
20. misogamous (mƏ-SOG-Ə-mƏs)
21. asceticism (Ə-SET-Ə-siz-Əm)

Can you work with the words? (I)

Check on your comprehension! See how successfully you can match words and meanings!

Can you work with the words? (II)

Can you work with the words? (III)

Can you work with the words? (IV)

Do you understand the words?

1. Can ambidextrous people use either the left or right hand equally well? YES / NO
2. Should a surgeon be manually dexterous? YES / NO
3. Is a sinister-looking person frightening? YES / NO
4. Is gaucherie a social asset? YES / NO
5. Is an adroit speaker likely to be a successful lawyer? YES / NO
6. Is a student of anthropology interested in primitive tribes? YES / NO
7. Does a gynecologist have more male than female patients? YES / NO
8. Is monogamy the custom in Western countries? YES / NO
9. Is a misogamist likely to show tendencies toward polygamy? YES / NO
10. Is a bigamist breaking the law? YES / NO
11. Is a philanthropist generally altruistic? YES / NO
12. Does a misanthropist enjoy human relationships? YES / NO
13. Does a misogynist enjoy female companionship? YES / NO
14. Are unmarried people necessarily misogamous? YES / NO
15. Are bachelors necessarily misogynous? YES / NO
16. Is asceticism compatible with luxurious living and the pursuit of pleasure? YES / NO
17. Does a polyandrist have more than one husband? YES / NO

Can you recall the words?

1. philosophy of living austerely — A__________
2. hatred of women — M__________
3. hatred of marriage — M__________
4. hatred of mankind — M__________
5. skillful — D__________
6. awkward — G__________
7. evil, threatening — S__________
8. describing hatred of women (adj.) — M__________ or M__________
9. skill — A__________
10. pertaining to hatred of marriage (adj.) — M__________
11. pertaining to hatred of mankind (adj.) — M__________
12. social custom of plural marriage — P__________ or P__________ or P__________
13. unlawful state of having more than one spouse — B__________
14. doctor specializing in female disorders — G__________
15. custom of one marriage at a time — M__________
16. one who hates the human race — M__________ or M__________
17. able to use both hands with equal skill — A__________
18. study of mankind — A__________
19. one who loves mankind — P__________
20. skill in the use of both hands — A__________